Friday, November 30, 2007

Standup comedy of girls aloud and preserving grandparents

Here is some amusing stand up comedy about girls aloud and embalming!!!
here is a link to the file
http://ia360638.us.archive.org/0/items/StandUp-GirlsAloudAndEmbalming/GirlsAloudAndPreservingDeadGrandParents.mp3


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Funny Video - classic Breakfast sketch from Morecambe and Wise

I saw this sketch the other day on the 50 best comedy sketches and then I saw a copied version of it on the Kevin Bishop show. I thought I would put it on the blog.

first here is the wiki page on Morecambe and Wise if you fancy a look

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morecambe_and_Wise

The Breakfast sketch



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Thursday, November 29, 2007

Funny xmas picture - beer bottle xmas tree

My mate sent me this picture today saying

"Fully recyclable Christmas tree"

What a tree, its a real beauty. It's some tree that can eclipse some of the presents you get.



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Pictures of very hot girls dressed in sexy Christmas lingerie







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Funny Stand up videos - Bob Newhart

Someone at work was talking about Bob Newhart and telling us about this stand up comedy piece about tobacco. So I found them on youtube and laughed like a drain.








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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Are you getting enoughing sleep?

Are you getting enough?

This was the provocative title of a BBC news story today that suckered me in to read it and I found out it wasn’t referring to sex but to sleep, which probably effects people more than sex.

its actually quite an interesting article and it has ways to cope with either not being able to get to sleep or coping without much sleep. Personally I read before I go to sleep this makes me feel tired and then when I can’t read any more off to slumber land I go. I have summarized the article for you people in a rush. You can read the whole article here

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7114661.stm

Get tense – tense all the muscles in your body this will help you relax and go to sleep

Play old cd’s – play cd’s you know well, that way you brain doesn’t have to think about what the lyrics are and can focus on relaxing

Saying The – if you can’t get to sleep, repeat the word The The The. This will block out all other thoughts and worries which might be keeping you away.

Power nap – have a 20 minute power nap, which is popular in Japan

The power nap is a controversial subject, some people think it invigorates you, whilst others think it makes you more tired. I find that just closing your eyes can have a benefit.

I bet most people catch up on sleep during the weekend. The article doesn’t mention that but I think I have read somewhere that you can catch up on missed sleep on the weekend


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Funny comedy podcast - Hosks Half Hour

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Funny Film idea - ET 2 - ET Strikes back

This audio really makes me laugh.

I’m going to send this to Spielberg and offer him first rights on this baby. In fact Drew Barrymore could come back as the barmaid, get the old team back together it would be awesome.

http://ia351403.us.archive.org/3/items/Et2-EtStrikesBack/IdeaForFilm-Et2.mp3



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Funny comedy podcast - Hosks Half Hour

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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Billie Piper to return to Dr Who



I see that Billie Piper is going back to Doctor who. This is probably a good move for her because she was certainly very good in the doctor who series. Also she has made a bid for freedom, got a bit sexy in her role (see pictures here) of the call girl and did a few other things. Anyway it was a good excuse to have another look at another picture of the sexy Billie Piper. Here are the details on the BBC site
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7114699.stm

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England Job could destroy shearer

I found it quite funny saying it could “DESTROY” Shearer. It’s good advice though, Shearer would be complete cack. I was thinking about why England are so cack. I thinks its because of the players, not the quality of the players but their attitudes and ego’s. All being precious about being dropped, played out of position. Also the players themselves, thinking they can tell the boss what to do, believing they are better than they are. All the other home nations players are just happy to be playing and do what ever is needed for the team. I think this is one of the reasons England look so bad, you basically have half the team just playing for themselves rather than fit in a system. It must make it very difficult for an England coach.

Anyway here is the article
http://www.football365.com/story/0,17033,8652_2924106,00.html
ADAMS` WARNING FOR SHEARER
Tony Adams fears taking on the job of England coach could "destroy" Alan Shearer.
Former England striker Shearer is among the favourites to replace Steve McClaren following the national team's failure to qualify for Euro 2008.
Shearer has admitted an interest in going into management, having been working primarily as a television pundit since retiring from playing 18 months ago.
He expressed his shock last week at being linked with the England job and shied away from revealing any interest in succeeding McClaren.
And his old international team-mate Adams believes it could be a damaging move by Shearer to accept the role as his first in coaching.
"I like Alan a lot, but I would hate to stick him in there because it could destroy him," said Adams in the Daily Telegraph.
"I loved playing against him and he comes across very well on TV, but I wouldn't like to throw him in among the pack of wolves awaiting him if he takes the national job.
"UEFA licences are there for a reason and if Alan gets them, fair play to him, but Marco van Basten had his before he took the Holland job.



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Monday, November 26, 2007

picture of hot santa girl

Merry Christmas indeed. I would have a happy Christmas if I found that in my stocking


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Sexy Santa : Maria Carey looking sexy in Christmas outfit

Check out this sexy Santa.

Santa would cum more than once a year if he was married to her


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Hosks Half Hour - Episode 6 - The world is football shaped

This is a football related Hosk’s Half Hour. It talks about the England match and then goes down an odd tangent explaining why the penis is a symbol of hope. A news nugget about a Liverpool player being robbed, more discussion of the match and what happened after. We have some news from the sun and mash up, fuck ups and pub talk all crammed into 30 minutes

http://hoskshalfhour.blogspot.com/2007/11/hosks-half-hour-episode-6-world-is.html
Funny comedy podcast - Hosks Half Hour

Friday, November 23, 2007

What is Vagina Dentata

It's not actually made up but a cultural myth.

I shall pass over to wikipedia to help me with the explanation

"Vagina dentata is Latin for toothed vagina. The tale is frequently told as a cautionary tale warning of the dangers of sex with strange women."

Brilliant, I used to laugh with my mates saying careful that woman has a sabre toothed gibbon, little did I know it was a real myth. I feel robbed, could have started it.

Wikipedia also has an interesting bit on the cultural basis of it

Cultural basis

The vagina dentata appears in the myths of several cultures, most notably in several North American Indian tribes. Erich Neumann relays one such myth in which “A meat-eating fish inhabits the vagina of the Terrible Mother; the hero is the man who overcomes the Terrible Mother, breaks the teeth out of her vagina, and so makes her into a woman.”[1]

The myth expresses the threat sexual intercourse poses for men who, although entering triumphantly, always leave diminished.[2]

The vagina dentata has proven a captivating image for many artists and writers, particularly among surrealist or psychoanalytic works. Although the myth is associated with the fear of castration, it is often falsely attributed to Sigmund Freud. Freud never mentions the term in any of his psychoanalytic work and it runs counter to his own ideas about castration. For Freud, the vagina signifies the fear of castration because the young (male) child assumes that women once had a penis that is now absent.[3] The vagina, then, is the result of castration, not the cause of it.

finish with this, the next best thing I think

Anti-rape female condom

In 2005, inventor Sonette Ehlers introduced The Rapex, an anti-rape female condom which can be inserted into the vaginal canal like a diaphragm. The product is lined with microscopic barbs which attach to a rapist's penis and which must be surgically removed. In an article about the Rapex, Ehlers stated that she was inspired to invent the device after meeting a victim who told her, "If only I had teeth down there."[4]

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teeth - a film about a women who has teeth in her vagina!

This cracked me up about a women who has teeth in her furry front bottom

check out this website

this is the blurb from the website

"High school student Dawn works hard at suppressing her budding sexuality by being the local chastity group’s most active participant… A stranger to her own body, innocent Dawn discovers she has a toothed vagina when she becomes the object of violence."

I have to say it sounds like a cracking film, here is a trailor



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Funny video - Masterchef

This is crazy and a little bit scary but is funny



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SVEN WOULD BE IDEAL ENGLAND MANAGER

It's interesting that after hounding Sven out and saying how rubbish he was, people seem to be coming round to the idea that perhaps Sven wasn't actually that bad after all.

It is ridiculous to think Sven wasn't a good manager, he has done the double in three different countries and won loads of trophies. McClaren won only one trophy and wasn't really considered a very good premier league manager.

here is the article from Football365 where Coppell muses that Sven would make an ideal England manager, its just a pity that he won't take the job now.

I personally think that Cappello would be a good manager for England, he is a confident manager with lots of experience and has a definite plan on how he wants his team to play. I think England players need to be told how to play because if you let them decide they all think they are better than they are and will just waunder about trying to do it all themselves. The most important factor in hiring the new England manager is he has to be able to handle the media. If Mourinho is available I definitely hire him but I don't think he will want to manage at international level yet.

I imagine all the fuss about hiring an English manager will have died down now as well. People now just want the best manager

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funny pic - the perfect attitude for the perfect woman



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Funny picture - Women in the war - we can't win without them

I saw this picture today and it made me chuckle


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Jamie Oliver insults Angelina Jolie's daughter



A brilliant article where Fat tongue chef Jamie Oliver forgets Angelina Jolie's daughters name which is Shiloh Pitt and accidently calls her

Piloh Sh*t

here is the full article with the title An Oliver Branch



FAT-tongued Jamie Oliver has incurred the wrath of Angelina Jolie by accidentally calling her daughter Piloh Sh*t instead of Shiloh Pitt.

The celeb chef phoned up the Womb Raider to tell her how pukka her new film Beowulf is.

And he politely asked after her daughter but was unable to get his chops around the name and made an unfortunate Spoonerism instead.

The mortified chef has sent the actress a dessert made with her fave food, Cheerios cereal, as a tasty apology.

An insider said: “It was just a slip of the tongue. But it did sound like he was dissing her first-born.”

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We blame the parents.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

DANAN SWEARS AT KIDS IN PRESTON




I reported that Danan swore but people were curious as to what he actually said. I finally found it on the Holy Moly website with this article

PAUL

This it what Paul Danan actually said

"Make some motherfucking noise, Preston!"

brilliant, he then promptly got sacked, to which he probably did some more swearing

click here if you want to listen some audio comedy about it


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Actor swears at switch-on crowd

From the bbc article
I remember him being on celebrity love island and being a right sex pest, good to see he is keeping up the good work.

click here if you want to listen some audio comedy about it

To find out what he said go here
Actor swears at switch-on crowd
Paul Danan
The actor had the main role of the Jack in the pantomime
A former soap actor has been sacked from a pantomime after swearing at a 3,000-strong crowd at the switch-on of the Christmas lights.

Paul Danan has apologised after he swore several times down the microphone at the audience in Preston city centre.

Danan, who also appeared in ITV's Celebrity Love Island, was fined by police and sacked from Jack and the Beanstalk at the Charter Theatre.

Council leader Ken Hudson said his outburst was "a disgrace".

The crowd at the Flag Market included hundreds of children, the city council said.

We're now looking for a new actor... someone who will wow the audience, but treat them with respect
Ken Hudson
Preston City Council leader

The actor was spoken to by police and given an £80 on-the-spot fine for disorder after the outburst.

Danan's spokeswoman said that he apologised for "his use of highly inappropriate language" and said he "deeply regretted his behaviour".

She added: "In his attempt to enthuse the crowd present, the words were blurted out without consideration. His intention was certainly not to cause any offence or upset to anyone."

Danan was with other members of the show's cast at Wednesday night's event.

They are all due to start rehearsals on Monday for the panto, which runs between 8 December and 6 January.

Councillor Hudson said: "His outburst was a disgrace and an insult to the people of Preston.

"Pantomime is all about family fun and entertainment and we want families to come to the pantomime and have a great time.

"We're now looking for a new actor to play Jack in Jack and the Beanstalk - someone who will wow the audience, but treat them with respect."



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collection of Nick Swardson stand up videos

stand up - babies


have a british kid

Nick Swardson on having a pet cheetah


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Nick Swardson stand up

Nick Swardson stand up

Secret Standup - Nick Swardson

Add to My Profile | More Videos

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hot pictures of Girls Aloud

This should cheer people up in England after losing the football







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McClaren Sacked

Finally the bumbling fool has been sacked, its a pity its one game to late

http://www.football365.com/story/0,17033,8652_2896131,00.html


This is a good article looking at the decisions he made

http://www.football365.com/story/0,17033,8742_2896247,00.html


and another article is as long as McClaren goes

I can't believe we haven't qualified, the 2008 tournament is going to be well boring now

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Funny comedy podcast - Hosks Half Hour

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

pictures of Billie Piper looking hot

Funny comedy podcast - Hosks Half Hour
some of the pictures were taken from the article on the daily mail

The sex tips I gave Billie, by the real-life call girl who inspired her TV role


Which is an interesting article about the real call girl that Billie Piper portrayed. She talks quite openly about what she got up to and seems to have a fairly down to earth outlook on life, which wasn't what I expected from a call girl.

anyway on with the pictures





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