Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Amusing IT Stories - 4th Edition - Awooga is leading us to higher standards
This is good because it means there is already some good stuff for next week but I still need more people to send me stories, their rubbish drawings in paint, doodles of the day, your office stories, demo nightmares, there are millions of sections, pick one and post it to amusingitstories@gmail.com if there are any people who can draw cartoons well, please send me a little one, a cartoon snack, I can even tell you what to draw if you want. The blog has told me he wants more colour.
We do have one artist submitting his stuff for the blog - The ever so dangerous Biscuit Boy and you will find his Doodle of the day scattered around the blog, he cleverly didn't send me the digital photo's he took of my doodle of the day (scared of the competition). You will see them next week and they will encourage you to contribute due to their poor quality.
On with the show the new sections this week are
Fantastic 80’s TV - an episode description from an 80’s TV, Cartoon show. Please send me your favourites from the A-Team, Quincy, Cartoons, Boon, anything
Worst song lyrics – After featuring Justin Timberlake it got me thinking there must be some worst lyrics out there
So Bad their good - horror films
Paper quotes
The Guardian 12th November
Talking about Freddie Shepard quotes from Freddy from the news of the world
“Freddy, in a Spanish Brothel, laughing at ‘gullible’ fans and life in Geordieland. ‘Newcastle girls are all dogs,’ he said. ‘Me, I like blondes, big busts, good legs. I don’t like coloured girls. I want a lesbian show with handcuffs….”
This is more of a TV quote but there you go its Mike Newell speaking after his side's 3-2 defeat at home to Queens Park Rangers feels the presence of Rayner was just for political correctness.
"She should not be here. I know that sounds sexist, but I am sexist, so I am not going to be anything other than that," "We have a problem in this country with political correctness, and bringing women into the game is not the way to improve refereeing and officialdom. "It is absolutely beyond belief. When do we reach a stage when all officials are women, because then we are in trouble? "It is bad enough with the incapable referees and linesmen we have, but if you start bringing in women, you have big problems. "This is Championship football. This is not park football, so what are women doing here? It is tokenism, for the politically-correct idiots.'' said Newell.
from mediawatch on thursday, I just found it too funny not to include it
http://www.football365.com
'The wife and girlfriend of a jobless man who already has 15 children are both pregnant. Mark Philpott, of Derby, sparked a national outcry when he complained about the size of his council house and claimed that Britain was 'going down the pan'. The 49-year-old's wife Mairead, 25, and 22-year-old girlfriend Lisa Willis are both expecting. Mr Philpott is reportedly 'annoyed with himself'. "It's one of those things that they have both fallen pregnant," he said. Mr Philpott shares his home with his wife and girlfriend and eight of his children. He is also the father to another seven offspring from three previous relationships' - The Metro.
Rubbish Icons
They are a bit fuzzy so click on them if you want a closer inspection but it won't do you any good they are pure hieroglyphics baby. These are from a product called SuperpOSe.
Office Etiquette – Meetings
Meetings are arranged by managers who aren’t really interested in the project, don’t have anything to contribute to the project but just want to make sure you aren’t all slacking off as soon as they are in a different room. The standard etiquette for meetings is to say as little as possible so to get through the meeting as quickly as possible, pretend to make notes by scribble things on a piece of paper helps to make people think you are interested in what they are saying. If you do say anything make sure it is not related to the topic the meeting is about and either office gossip or something not work related.
THIS IS THE NEWS
Government announces new plans to tackle prison overcrowding
The government are offering prisoners the chance to go on expensive holiday to top holiday destinations such as Kos, Falaraki, Malta free of charge. The governments latest plan is to pay for the prisoners to go to the expensive sun traps, give them as much drink as they can consume and then encourage them to break the law and thus spending time in a foreign jail instead of an English one. The prison wardens are wooing the inmates by telling them that the foreign jails are like palaces, where as in reality they are more like a run down B&B in Blackpool with a raciest owner.
Ballroom dancing to be brought into the curriculum
Tony Blair is going to leave an unexpected legacy to his reign as leader by bringing in a bill which will make Ballroom dancing compulsory in the curriculum. The government are trying to capitalise on the success of Strictly come dancing, which is a show on BBC 1 where celebrities who people have never heard of, try to follow a professional dancer as they twirl around the ballroom. Bruce Forsyth is going to head the campaign which will see Ballroom dancing GCSE’s, A Levels and you will even be able to take a degree in Ballroom dancing. The move will annoy old school teachers who believe the new subjects are easy and a waste of time and believe children should be taught double science, double English and double Maths, wear short trousers and be thrashed with a cane on a daily basis whilst having names like Jenkins. The government are critical of this "academic" subjects by point out Maths isn't going to help you down the pub on a saturday night but ballroom dancing is.
NPOWER TURNS A NEW LEAFLET
This week Npower sent a helpful leaflet to it’s customer advising them to send their children to bed wearing socks, hats and gloves to keep warm. This news comes in the same week as Npower increased electricity bills by an above inflation amount for the fifth week running. An Npower spokesman said “this is just our way of helping people out, this means that they will be able to wrap up before bed and turn off all the heating, which will allow the users of Npower to pay the same amount of money for using less electricity, it’s a win/win situation”.
Refs in cash for cards scandal
Colleague’s from Hell
This colleague is a manager who was known as Darth (after Darth Vader of course) by her underlings. She had a rule that people MUST pick up the phone with in “three rings”. If she heard people talking this must mean they didn’t have enough work to do, where should would then walk over and say “have you got enough work to do or would you like me to I give you some more”. She once confronted someone who had been off ill telling them “I don’t believe you were ill and nothing you can say will change my mind”
Pushing the Elephant
A group process where participants analyse a failed project and look for scapegoats other than themselves.
BLAMESTORMING (pub version)
The argument you have with your mates at 1am when the booze rounds have broken down and everyone is saying "well I bought mine"...and then Bob in the corner turns round whilst wiping Aftershock off his lips with the back of his hand and looks innocent saying "What!?"
THE BUM LIFTER
My Mother sent this one in for me
When first reading it and then looking on the sight I couldn't figure out if it was a joke but I don't think it is, the names sound like wrestling moves and what is it with Trinny and Susannah doing this weird dance moves. It was this
The Tummy Flattener
http://www.amplebosom.com/acatalog/52118.jpg
The Bum, Tum & Thigh Reducer
http://www.amplebosom.com/acatalog/52518.jpg
The Bum Lifter
FILM PITCH – LEAF IT
"hey Geoff do you want to play a game"
"what kind of game"
"I dunno, chuck something"
and another
Office Evolution - PowerPoint
In the Beginning
What's PowerPoint, I think I have seen a sales guy using it once
In the Middle Ages
I have used it a few times in a few demonstrations to impress the boss with my professional presentations. You like PowerPoint because it's safe, pre canned, you know there isn't going to be any "alright on the night" moments in the demo of everything not working, you have been down that road and know to use PowerPoint because it's safe, PowerPoint is your friend
In the Future
You PowerPoint everything, you love PowerPoint and wonder how you ever got on in life without it. You spend hours making the words fly across the presentation and jump out. You create amusing slides with pictures popping in a "wacky" way. If there is work to be done then PowerPoint is the tool to do it, even programming..
HOW FILMS COULD HAVE GONE - ET
The children when they find grotesque weird dumpy Alien with glowing finger, throw stones at the Alien and then poke it with sticks until they get hungry and then go home. The kids go back and tell their mum, thousands of army men come in and ET gets shot. Film over.
BAD CODE
Motivational Boss
Angry man rant
“why is outlook so rubbish, all the formatting has gone funny, look it's put that line over there and made it fat when you click reply button. Why do people use this piece rubbish software, why do they put up with it?"
I am a sucker for bad horror films (see I love and hate) this one is beautiful, it's a film called Granny.
Granny - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0225899/
Tagline: She'll love you to pieces!
Plot Outline: Eight college students are stalked and killed by a maniac dressed in a hag mask.
I read this review on imdb
Why I Love and Hate – Bad Horror films
LOVE
I love bad horror films because they have stupid titles like Granny, Jack Frost, Blood Gnome, Wasp Women. In fact I was just having a look here are the top titles
The Beast with Five fingers
The Curious Dr. Humpp
Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster
Let Sleeping Corpses Lie
Ninja Phantom Heroes
The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy
The Unknown Terror
Yog, Monster from Space
I love films like the The Wicker Man where the plot is just plain crazy, inticing a virgin into an island, sending him all around it and then burning him. Oops sorry for anyone who hadn’t seen it.
I love the acting is terrible, the ‘special’ effects are terrible and the dialogue is even worse. Put it all together and you have the work of genius. On the plus side for horror films is that you never know what the hell is going to happen and anything could, someone could get killed at any moment and what’s more they usually try to kill all those annoying American kids in funny ways, bad horror films like to joke about.
Oh I found some more
"I think that I shall never see, something as silly as a rubber killer tree..." Our stalwart military stands up against to the titular potted perils in the '60s sci-fi classic The Navy vs. the Night Monsters, courtesy of Jabootu Sponsor Eric Balzer at this website - http://www.jabootu.com/
You see killer trees. The other day I watched one where Roy Castle famous for playing the trumpet and tap dancing on the Guiness book of records had his fortune read on a train and with three tarot cards the old man told him he would go to Africa, steal a voodoo tune, come back and make a hit record but then get killed by the voodoo people.
The last reason why I love bad horror movies is because the are never afraid to show some naked flesh, women only of course nothing vulgar or indecent like a naked man. Women are always leaping about naked in horror films.
HATE
Stinkpalm
this is one of those names which everyone calls the persons but not to their face. The person in question got the name stinkpalm because he was seen coming out of the one of the traps in the toilet and depositing a smelly load, he then went straight out of the toilets, rushed downstairs and shock a customers hand and thus stink palming him All this without washing his hands!!!! The term stink palming comes from the film Mallrats and this quote explains the logic from IMDB http://www.imdb.com/title
T.S. Quint: How do you propose I do that?
Brodie: You stinkpalm him.
T.S. Quint: Stinkpalm?
Brodie: You take your hand and stick it in your ass like this. You been walkin' all day and you're nervous, so no doubt you'll be sweaty as hell.
T.S. Quint: You should see yourself right now, a grown man with his hand down his pants.
Brodie: Yeah i probably look like my old man. So you shake hands with the guy, "Hello Mr. Svenning how have you been?"
T.S. Quint: Whats the point?
Brodie: You know how long it takes for that smell to come off? Scrub all you want, it'll stick around for at least two days. How does he explain it to his colleagues and family? They'll think he doesn't know how to wipe his ass properly.
T.S. Quint: Meanwhile you yourself are left with a hand that smells like shit.
Brodie: Small price to pay for the smiting of one's enemies.
In my Day (When computers were as big as houses)
Weird Game(s) of the week
16 bit wizard
How well do you know you snes games and facts, this will put you to the test
http://www.freeonlinegames.com/play/3198.html
Dice Mogul
Which is suspiciously like monopoly except you don’t have to spend hours setting it up only for the other people to quit because they bored (e.g. losing)
http://www.freeonlinegames.com/play/10289.html
Coconut Curumba – I put this game on because it’s so rubbish
http://www.freeonlinegames.com/play/10185.html
The Terrible One
oh my god this link is pure evil business genius. Forget Mickey Jackson, you want soul and entertainment then watch this, I love the way the geezer could not put one once more of meaning into that song here is
Sideways melon farmer sent this clip in and described itbeautifuly
this has to go in!
Jesus! I can't watch a moment of it, my poor toes are broken from curling
By Jove I believe this fellow works with Computers
John Fashanu didn't invent the catchphrase Awooga. It was invented/first used on by Craig Charles from Red Dwarf fame.
This is the rumour I have read on the internet. Hey readers you must have some I can't believe it's not true facts out there for me, come on hand em over.
This was submitted by Cheddar and was an email sent around the office. The email before was a discussion about football predictions. I love it because it is just so random.
Yep I shall remember that for future predications and also try to keep an eye on the scores after the match days...
I wish I had a device rapped round my wrist that displayed all the scores in a meaningful and graphical user interface which showed all scores dynamically with interactive dialogue and moving streaming video images of the major scoring goals of the match day events as well.. and a final summary of the scores after a certain period of time even though there may well be matches played the next day or later on in the day.. it would be a great tool to have and I wish it were free at no extra expense as well.... oh well - I'll have to buy the Sunday newspaper instead then...
squash banana’s up his, what did that baboon just say
This was an amusing tale submitted by a reader where he accidentally squashed a banana up his, not really I’m just joking, my readers are high brow they would only squash Kiwi’s or Water melons. A buddy sent me a wav clip of someone singing “Squash bananas up his arse”, with this blurb
In 1994 Disney released an electronic talking story book based on the Lion King film - parents soon complained that a sound sample of Rafiki the baboon shaman appeared to be chanting "squash bananas up his arse". Apparently the offending phrase was some innocent Swahili/English mixup and the Disney corporation does not condone the insertion of fruit into the anus.
It is a false claim according to the urban legends site, check it out and you can hear the squashing arse talk for yourself.
http://www.snopes.com/disney/films/rafiki.htm
They still haven't found what they are searching for
searching for my site, at least my site is coming first (boom boom), this search was on altavista http://www.altavista.com/web/results?itag=ody&kgs=0&kls=0&q=%20is%20%20%20WonderCum%20for%20real&stq=10
is WonderCum for real
wondercum review
wondercum scam
People got to my site from Google when typing
jade hits a gran in face
This one is really puzzling, I don’t think I have ever heard an embarrassing story regarding them (hmmm), he must have been disappointed I haven’t got any
TV IDEAS
Baldies have all the fun
Investigative TV program where Richard Wilson and David Bellamy go on an 18-30’s holiday to see if Baldies really do have more fun. The scientific evidence is inconclusive as both TV stars end up sleeping with the same chubby girl.
Cobblers
Cilla Black makes her comeback staring in a new sitcom set in a shoe repairers. Black plays a highstrung boss of local Bolton show repairers Heaven and Heel. In this dramatic episode the workers are concerned about the rumours of the shop closing so Black raises spirits with a good old fashioned sing song of knees up mother brown and the customers come flooding back. The finale of the show is Black defeated a debtor in an arm wrestle who then decides to waive the debt.
Childhood Nightmares
Ian McKellen goes back to the play ground where he was bullied as a child. He walks slowly around the deserted play ground and describes a horrific scene where Barry Bealesdale gave the now legendary actor an atomic wedgie. McKellen then meets the bully who is now an old man, he apologises and McKellen cries and it's hugs all round.
Robots – will they be the end of the human race
An unscientific study finds that computers are at a level not more sophisticated than the average household pet. The conclusion of the show shows a Robot being smashed up by an energetic child and a robot arm project of ten years not telling the difference between a Jam pot and an elephant.
Turds of the rich and famous
Dr Gillian McKeith inspect the stools of the rich and famous, she tells Robbie Williams that his shit is a disgrace and is very pleased with a stool from David Hasslehoff and she says “that is the most beautiful poo I have ever seen, look at it’s structure and colour, it should be shown to school children every where as something to aspire too.” David agrees and Williams storms off shouting "I'm the biggest selling star in England and 23 times better than Gary Barlow, you can't talk to me like that".
Prince of Hearts Schools Days
A re-enactment of the Princes Of Hearts school days, in this episode Diana is very happy because she spells Dinosaur correctly first time without any help. The show speaks to her old primary school friends who all say they knew she was special even at the age of 6 and tell amazing personal stories of Diana helping them to a dinner lady when they fell over and cut their knee.
SPAM OF THE WEEK
This was sent in by Mr C, I was going to write something funny but he has done it for me
the subject reads like a pr0n mail
they call me jimbrewer
then they try and sell me knock off rolexes
then they fill it with odd keywords like "codpiece"???? or is it just really bad google translation e.g. "you'll look the b0ll0cks"
who knows
I will mention I do like some of the sentences it comes up with, now eggplantrenton Melvin they you
quarterback Jose sterling are, the collaborate servile time own sleight Jose me scylla own aphorism moloch egotism now eggplant
and
keeshond Jose from cloudburst in endgame viennese crossway own buoy. bona Jose can't balsa the swart corny docile from liquid
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Mari Kim < uoovxxmqzhz@advdata.net>
Date: Wed, 08 Nov 2006 04:24:45 -0-100
Subject: Lila is crazy about this site
To: Jose
Hi jimbrewer,
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Go to :: http://vbbass.optimklock.com
"Breitling Chronograph" >>>
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· Perfect quality
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And also I hate you
I never did like art critics but that's nothing compared to what they think of me
Well you know what they say, it's better to be hated than ignored. I love this comment I received recently, wow he really didn't like my cartoons. It's total rubbish of course a four year old could never draw cartoons as badly as me. Oh by the way the person who said this goes by the name of lordthor, hmmm.
They are not Amusing.
They are not at all It related.
And they are hardly cartoons.
Reported as inaccurate, and also, I hate you.
FAQ – COOKING
These are frequently asked questions about cooking, jeez I thought I was a bad cook
What side dish goes with stuffed cabbage rolls?
How do you melt cheese?
What can you do to tone it down if you make your chili too spicy?
How many small marshmallows equal one large one?
Can marshmallows be frozen?
Why would a Never Fail roux recipe you've used for years start curdling?
What makes a pumpkin pie develop a crack down the middle while cooling when it looked great coming out of the oven?
What is wrong with potato soup that has small bits of white stuff floating in it that looks like soured milk but the milk was good?
Why are Coca Cola and Diet Coke so popular?
What are similarities in teeth and eggshells?
How dangerous is eating moldy bread?
Can cheese be frozen?
What do you do if your Christmas pudding has grown mold while it was hanging to dry?
BORING BLOGS
The first entry is called Sister's Weblog : It boggles the mind!
LOL
That was what Katie was exclaiming as she scoured the house looking for a match to the three knee highs she had, none of which matched each other.
She said "if 1 sock doesn't have an 's', then 1 panty ho doesn't have an 's' either".
It bloggles the mind!
Posted by Susan L. Prince at 10:24 AM
My mom has always thought it strange that I chose a career in retail.
A few minutes ago my friend Katie called to see if I wanted anything from Walmart. I said "Can I come?"
She said "Only if you won't bother me." LOL
I said "Well, what are you going to get?"
She said "See, you are already bothering me." LOL
She's at Walmart. I'm posting on this blog.
there is another post which I am going to add a bit of because I'm quite fond of a bit of bible spouting nonsense and talk of doctrine of the devil
CONVERSATIONS WITH WHO?
I received an email today that I found interesting enough to quote it here at the Sisters' Weblog:
Two particular books, Conversations with God and Conversations with God for Teens, written by Neale D. Walsch , sound harmless enough by their titles alone. These books have been on the New York Times best sellers list for a number of weeks, and these publications make truth of the statement, "Don't judge a book by its cover/title."
The author purports to answer various questions from kids using the "voice of God". However, the "answers" that he gives are not Bible-based and go against the very infallible word of God. For instance (and I paraphrase), when a girl asks the question "Why am I a lesbian?" His answer is that she was born that way because of genetics (just as you were born right-handed,with blue eyes, etc...). Then he tells her to go out and "celebrate" her differences. Another girl poses the question "I am living with my boyfriend. My parents say that I should marry him because I am living in sin. Should I marry him?" His reply is, "Who are you sinning against? Not me, because you have done nothing wrong."
Another question asks about God's forgiveness of sin. His reply "I do not forgive anyone because there is nothing to forgive. There is no such thing as right or wrong and that is what I have been trying to tell everyone, do not judge people. People have chosen to judge one another and this is wrong, because the rule is "'judge not lest ye be judged.'" And the list goes on.
Not only are these books the false doctrine of devils, but in some instances even quote (in error) the Word of God. These books (and others like it) are being sold to school children (The Scholastic Book Club), and we need to be aware of what is being fed to our children. Our children are under attack.
So I pray that you be sober and vigilant about teaching your children the Word of God, and guarding their exposure to worldly mediums, because our adversary, the Devil, roams about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8). And how many of us know that lions usually hunt for the slowest, and weakest and YOUNGEST of its prey.
Gal 6:9 Let us not be weary in doing good, for we will reap in due season,if we don't give up.
On two the second boring blog and this one is literally just boring, I like the comments though it's from the blog Omphaloskepsis - It's not just a job... it's a way of life. The world omplaloskepsis means to stare at one's navel as an aid to meditation.
Most Boring Entry Ever
This is post 300. I have nothing interesting to say at this time. Thank you.
davidh
three replies:
I would suggest you stick with typical logarithm-scale milestone lines: 1,2,5,10,20,50,... That makes it less obtrusive than having to come up with something ultra-cool every 100 posts.
PeterCJ - January 11 '05, 19:40
I just noticed: you're getting awfully close to post #500.
Are you planning something major, or is it going to wimper by?
PeterCJ (link) - April 18 '06, 12:00
I do have something planned for #500. It will probably fall somewhere between #200 and #300 in impressiveness. :-)
davidh
To apologise for publishing a university assignment in the local newspaper which slags off your family basically saying they are a bunch of rough slobs who slob about, the lad who is dating your daughter (excellently named Mercedes, vroom vroom) he buys you a cheap Metro, how do you react. Do youa. Say ta very much, a free car is a free car after all and welcome him back into the family
b. Tell him to stuff his cheap little car up his A*%$ and $*£(£ £(£$* **$**$* himself
c. Take the car, run over his foot whilst driving away, then drive the car until it runs out of petrol, which happens to be quite a distance from your house, walk all the way back and complain to him that he is a cheapskate for not putting much petrol in.
It is of course number C
To the left/above is this weeks POWER OF PAINT - I will give you a clue, it's topical and it is actually a man and not a woman
BAD SONG LYRICS - IT'S A CRIME THEY RHYME
after featuring Justin Trousersnake a couple of editions ago, I like the idea of these bad lyrics so I thought I would search out some of my favourites. If you have a particular bad lyric you like then email me it at amusingitstories@gmail.com I think I will have to feature some Bon Jovi at some point
I was only going to bit one verse in but it’s good it’s all going in
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gary.hart/lyricsp/partners.html
In this day and age who can ask for more
The crime wave is high with muggings mysterious
All police and detectives are furious
Cause they can´t find the source
Of this lethally evil force
This is serious so give me a quarter
I was a witness get me a reporter
Call April O´Neill in on this case and you better hurry up
There´s no time to waste
We need help like quick on the double
Have pity on the city, man its in trouble
We need heroes like the Lone Ranger when Tonto came pronto
When there was danger
They didn´t say We´ll be there in half an hour
Cause they displayed
Turtle Power!
T-U-R-T-L-E power
T-U-R-T-L-E power
T-U-R-T-L-E power
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
T-U-R-T-L-E power
T-U-R-T-L-E power
T-U-R-T-L-E power
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
Now our ace reporter was hot on the trail
Determined to put these crooks in jail
She spied the bad guys and saw what happened
But before she knew it she fell in the trap and got caught
Yeah she was all alone
With no friends and no phone
Now this was beyond her WORST dreams
Cause she was cornered by some wayward fiends
Headed by Shredder they were anything but good
Misguided, unloved, they called them the Foot
They could terrorize and be angry youth and
They loved the people who needed proof
Then from outta the dark came an awesome sound
Shouted COWABUNGA as they hit the ground
From the field the weeds the heroes rescued the flower
Cause they possessed
Turtle Power
T-U-R-T-L-E power
T-U-R-T-L-E power
T-U-R-T-L-E power
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
T-U-R-T-L-E power
T-U-R-T-L-E power
T-U-R-T-L-E power
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
Power
When you stand for what you believe in
And find the strength to do what´s right
That´s Turtle Power
Heroes on a half shell they´re on a mission
When there´s a battle got the enemy wishin'
That they stayed at home instead of fightin'
These Ninja Masters with moves like lightnin'
They were once normal but now they´re mutants
Splinter´s the teacher so they are the students
Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Donatello
Make up the team with one other fellow
Raphael
He´s the leader of the group transformed from the norm
By the nuclear goop
Pizza´s the food that´s sure to please
These ninjas are into pepperoni and cheese
Back to the story it´s not hard to find
Ninjas not just of the body but of the mind
Those were the words that the Master instructed
But a letter from Shredder has Splinter abducted
That was the last straw spring into action
Step on the Foot now they´re gonna lose traction
Now this is for real so you fight for justice
Your shell is hard so you shout They cant dust us off
Like some old coffee table
Since you were born you been willing and able
To defeat the sneak, protect the weak
Fight for rights and your freedom to speak
Now the villain is chillin' so you make a stand
Back to the wall put your sword in your hand
Remember the words of your teacher your master
Evil moves fast but good moves faster
Than light
Shining from your illumination
Good versus Evil equals confrontation
So when you´re in trouble don´t give in and go sour
Try to rely on your
Turtle Power
FANTASTIC 80's TV
Fantastic 80’s TV - http://www.ateamshrine.co.uk/season5.php
I was watching the A Team this week and it was fantastic. It started off with these two "hard men" going into a really rubbish second hand TV show, knocking over a load of the TV's and then getting some money out of the old codger who owned it. The Ruffians then bopped him in the stomach and on the way out hit the shoe shine kid (did they really exist in the 80's) and then drive off and smashing his shoe shine box/tools, good god they are evil. The next scene was to get BA onto the plane, he first sets of the metal detector by walking through with all his bling and growling at the dude. Then they drug him and carry on an unconcious BA onto the plane. Ohh how times have changed hey.
Anyway watching this episode got me thinking it would be funny to read some episode guides for classic 80's shows like the A-Team, knight rider and Boon etc. So this week we are kicking off with a classic A Team episode
Series 5: Episode 10 (95)
Original Air Date (US): November 28th 1986.
Written by: Bill Nuss
Directed by: Michael O'Herlihy
The A-Team are on a mission to recover a stolen historical aretact (it looked like it was plastic to me!), the crystal skull of the title. However, whilst trying to escape, Murdock, Frankie and Face crash on a tribe-inhabited island. Murdock is carrying the skull and the tribespeople recognise him as a God (much to B.A.'s annoyance, "Bunch of fools worshipping the king fool of all time!").
However, the skull is stolen by mercenaries masquerading as monks who are trying to make all the tribes on the island work in mines to collect diamonds. The A-Team have to return the skull to Stockwell in order to secure stability in the Middle East.
I don't know what to say about this episode. It wasn't very good really, and I don't think it had much of a plot - just a lot of people in grass skirts muttering "Mutata, Murdockah, mutata" etc
Linkage
Some of these were sent in by Bananaman
It's good to see the drop in standards of higher education is not affecting students nor the subjects they choose to research in their postgraduate courses.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6135148.stm
This research is so useless the BBC struggled to find a place for it on their web site. They eventually put the article in their Health section, but really this should have been filed under "Frivolous".
here is an IT related link, how to fry an egg on/in a computer
http://www.phys.ncku.edu.tw/~htsu/humor/fry_egg.html
Why women live photo. I see this as a celebration of the can do attitude of men
http://www.plainjanegames.com/funstuff/womenlivelonger2.htm
Some amusing stories here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/6147984.stm
And ... an interesting quote:
you are "statistically more likely to change your spouse than you are your bank account."
from http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6146348.stm
AMSTERDAM ROB'S GOOGLE VIDEO LINKS
Finito
If you liked this then you can read last weeks edition, again if you read it before
Amusing IT Stories - 3rd Edition - George Foreman didn't invent his own grill!
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